Introduction to Aphasia
To tell you the truth, there is a part of me that wishes I didn’t know what aphasia is. Because when you have aphasia, then you for sure know what it is and how hard it can be to deal with and live with. I’ll give you the Webster’s definition but, first, I’ll give you my definition. Aphasia is when you know what something is but can’t recall the word for it, or you can have a hard time understanding others or a hard time expressing yourself or finding the words to express yourself.
The Challenge of Aphasia
It becomes even more difficult when the stress level goes up. It doesn’t matter if it’s self-imposed stress or caused by an outside force. For example, when I was shown a picture of a cactus just a day or so after the stroke in October 2019, I knew I was looking at a cactus. I knew it generally grows in dry desert areas and that it has “thorny stickers” that will poke you if you get too close. But, for the life of me, I couldn’t remember the word “cactus” day after day after day. I couldn’t remember that WORD! I knew it was a simple word, but just as the wrong key won’t unlock the door, some pathway within my brain had been damaged and wasn’t letting information pass. It did not matter how much I tried to remember or memorize the word “cactus,” it just would not stay in my head. To say it was very frustrating would be an understatement. In my mind, I knew what the plant was, but that word “cactus” was nowhere to be found. It just wasn’t there, no matter how hard I tried.
Living with Aphasia Today
Aphasia messes with me still today, even though it’s much better than the day after the stroke. Today, I still type double words, skip words that I intended to write, or can’t correctly spell words I once had no problem spelling. If I’m nervous or stressed in any way, it becomes hard, even today, to talk. That is aphasia to me, and it’s just one of those things I would never wish on anyone. For that matter, I wouldn’t recommend a stroke either.
A New Perspective on Life
Now that I’ve said that, there is also a part of me that is really happy that I know what aphasia is. You might think I’m crazy. My wife has called me crazy for years, so you probably aren’t far off. The stroke changed my life and my family's life in drastic ways. And my book, “My Experiences With The Trinity,” delves further into that. As we were thrust into “stroke” living, a whole new world that I didn’t know existed before the stroke opened up, and I began to realize just why I am here on this place called earth. Even though the stroke was/is exceptionally hard and the effects of a stroke that you never hear about are numerous, with aphasia just being one effect, I also became fearless in who I am and who I represent. I really like being fearless because I now have the courage to talk to people about the Trinity with no hesitation. Really. I just have an overwhelming urge to share what I know to be true. It didn’t use to be that way, but it’s that way now. Today, I understand why angels rejoice when a person accepts Jesus as their savior. There aren’t many things that top that in this realm.
My Continuing Journey with Aphasia
That’s my experience with aphasia. I don’t have trouble with the word “cactus” anymore, but I still struggle with aphasia since the stroke. I sometimes can catch my mistakes in my writing, and my wife, bless her heart, never misses my written mistakes. I just tell her, it’s all in my head.
Webster’s Definition of Aphasia:
aphasia
Noun
apha·sia ə-ˈfā-zh(ē-)ə
medical: loss or impairment of the power to use or comprehend words usually resulting from brain damage (as from a stroke, head injury, or infection).
There you have it. That’s my experience with aphasia. There was a time after the stroke that I couldn’t speak, a time I couldn’t read, and a time it hurt to think, and just thinking was a chore. Today, I feel so blessed to be able to share my testimonies with you and let you in on a secret, the Trinity is real!
-Von Dailey
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